Life is not just about the race

今天，因为某些原因， 表弟来我家住。我的心里不会像以前那么抗拒他来, 或许因为我想要尝试换个角度来看待这件事。感觉上， 其他 cousins 都不怎么想要和他玩， 我和我哥哥们是唯几个跟他还蛮可以和他打成一片的 cousins。 对于他小小年纪就得面对大人的一些问题，我相信他心里应该也不好受。 做表姐的我希望他能开心成长， 所以我并陪他玩， 跟他讲话，希望能听他心里的话。 这么小年纪，就得学那么多东西： 珠心算， 游泳， 羽毛球 和 画画。。 夸张！ 我们这里都认为这是他妈妈不要我小舅有时间与儿子相处的办法。。 真气愤，但无奈。 今天，我考研我的耐心，跟表弟玩。  最终，我累得到爸爸的房间睡觉。 起初，表弟来叫醒我，一直硬硬要我跟他玩。 他当时的口气好像小霸王，我差点要放脾气，可是最终却吞下去了, 睡着了。说真的，如果只是跟不认识的孩子扮鬼脸/玩 etc， 还不会累。 可是，跟自己的表弟表妹玩，很累很累.. 因为必须顾虑他们的感受 etc.  如果是他的父母，就累上加累。 晚上， 我感到很惭愧： 当哥哥和CL担心表弟拉烘炉拉到掉在地上打到脚， 我却担心他弄到烘炉坏掉。起初，我感到有点不高兴CL sarcastic酸我， 可是这让我发现原来我还是那么不在乎表弟。  惭愧。 从中，我也领悟了某些事情。。 好, 不想长大。

很少会因为看电视看到流泪. 也许, 对于别人来说, 这部戏 是有些无聊偏激。 但对于我来说，它让我学会及珍惜一些东西=) 要像苏小小一样，当只"打不死的蟑螂"! xD 加油! =))

最近的我,  心里想了好多东西, 有好的， 也有坏的。  遇上大姨妈， 心情仿佛好像 roller coaster 一样, 起伏不定。 真的对 家人和 Penguin 感到很不好意思， 因为在那期间, 我会对他们闹小姐脾气。真的对不起， 我会好好控制情绪=X 回想起上一个 term break 自己为自己定下的目标， 我感到好惭愧。 虽然我的这个 semester 真的着的很轻松，可以做很多我想要做的事情， 可是我却没有好好珍惜, 时间是乱乱花=S 要打扫房间， 我只做一半； 要好好陪妈妈，我只带她去牛车水； 要常去 A.L.L，我越来越力不从心; 要准备TP2 的lesson plan， 连一个都没做到。 雄心勃勃的 我, 自己似乎还在原点, 真的搞不懂我这些时候在做什么=S  也许，我不应该想东西想到太完美，因为我并不完美。 顺其自然 (我的口头禅), 不要太 over ambitious, 应该会好很多点吧。 在这当儿, 比较闲空的我, 也想了好多友情上的东西 。读了朋友的博客，感触更多。心里也憋得蛮久，不知道什么时候有勇气在谈到这个话题。 或许，有些朋友觉得事情就是这样，改不了, 但我觉得对于一些东西我们都不应该当作理所当然。我可以理解现在的我们负担越来越多， priority 也不同了，可是真希望我们的友情不会因这样而经不起这些改变。感觉上，经过那一段的争执,  我们变得很客气， ‘no obligation’ 类似的话语也多了, 真不知道该如何是好。真有点郁闷。 有时候， 我在想如果有一天我遇到车祸或得到癌症， 我会怎么办, 怎样利用我剩下的时间。 On a brighter note, 我觉得我对教书越来越有热忱了 :D 虽然我不会一辈子呆在 teaching service 里， 但我会在这接下来的四五年里用心教书，了解学生，给他们人生的启发 =) 我也更有勇气面对一些人事物， 把事情处理得好一些。更高兴的是, 我和家人的亲情, penguin 的感情, 及好朋友的友情变得更亲，更体谅对方了!=)) Before I sleep, ，想对我的家人, penguin 和在我生命里最重要的好朋友说: “谢谢你们这些年的陪伴与支持!” =') Calling out to my five e...

I am not a 100% perfect girlfriend. You are not a 100% perfect boyfriend.  Although we are not the 100% perfect couple, but i am thankful that we are always seek to understand and better each other along the way. Thanks for always being so understanding (even when I play tantrum until some parts seem too absurd at times=X) and brightening up my day=)) Thank you, penguin

Yes, today marks my first day of my 4th year at NTU. After attending my friend's and cl's convocation, I really hoped that I had graduated at that moment too! The joy of graduation really tempts me to want to fast forward to my convocation day! xD But then again, I will certainly miss my school life and some of the best times I spent with my best (but few) university friends as well as in CCA. For that, it reminds me to cherish my time I have for my final year at NTU, as a student. And I certainly, will=) With a 2-day week this semester I am thinking of using this time for other things which I have usually neglected: Spending more time with family (especially mum), cleaning my room, helping A.L.L and needy, as well as baking/cooking new interesting food=)  With (seemingly) more time at hand, reminder to self: Cherish the time spent on different things and make full use of time to do what I like and on meaningful stuff too because YOLO=)) Believe in myself, I can an...

As I enter into my 20s, I found myself to have exposed to more meaningful and learn-able experiences which slowly brings me to understand the cycle of birth, aged, sick and death. Here are some of my small yet impactful life experiences: After a month of internship at Swissbake, I think that perhaps, I shouldnt lump interest and job together because when an interest becomes a job, and that the job become a chore, interest will slowly diminished. And so, maybe baking/cooking can be just my recreational activities=) Due to such a thought and experience at Swissbake, I feel more strongly that being a teacher is a best choice for me! Haha. After chatting with mq, Brenda and bk, I begin to wonder, what do I aim for in life? I believe I will find it eventually and so, let nature takes its course. This aside,  I also begin to understand death from another perspective, sadly, only after my neighbour passed away suddenly and without saying a proper goodbye to him. I was stunned a...

The more I bake, the more I know what I want to do in the future. But this is a goal that I might not be able to work towards it much in near future, I could only wait till the day when the bond sets me free.

Was mentally stunned by the release of tears in me, yet the tears were like a faulty tap which flows down my tears uncontrollably. Perhaps, there are too many things to do, too many things to think about,  so much so that the brain and heart cant take it anymore? Or..I am just having PMS? Haha. There is bound to be up and down, and up and down again. But I believe optimistic me wont stay (and will refuse to stay) at the "down" side for too long! Hehe.  Chill, relax, I can and I will :)

One of the happiest days of my life:)) I am really happy that we can walk till this far :D Hoping for many years to go on, and on..:)

Goals for the year of 2013: *To create a more fruitful and meaningful year than before:)) *To study smarter with good time management ;) *To grow kinship, friendship and relationship with CL, even stronger with more love, empathy   and patience  *To make differences to my future students' lives academically and non-academically :) *To make differences to the dogs' lives at A.L.L :') Hold on to these goals because, I believe..:)  

Celebrate or (and) weep, then what's next? I didn't feel as excited anymore when I am getting this semester's results, except that I am afraid I would get a C/D for my worst core module. I am really glad that I have gotten a B for that with a surprising A for another core module which I think I thought i would never get that grade (Yay, I managed to prove that I am still able to survive in a class of crossover students). Other than that, I didn't bother as much about my GPA as the last time. I am satisfied, and this semester is so called the first time when I didn't really take results to heart, really (but I will still put in my very best in the things I do). I am happy that I did :) Over the past few weeks, I had been enjoying my hols except the "sick" weeks and suddenly, a thought chanced upon me thinking about what I want to do to better myself as a future teacher. Last semester, I plucked up my courage to go to pets shelter and want to do smth...

For the better? Or for the worst? (right now) Maybe, I am subconciously uncomfortable with changing the ways I see about some things. Maybe, I am subconciously uncomfortable with changing the ways I think about some things. Maybe, I am subconciously uncomfortable with changing the ways that I do/handle some things. Maybe, I am still uncomfortable with changes. Despite such subconcious discomfort, changes continues, because I am pushed to follow the overwhleming flow, because the seemingly good ones camoflage the potential bad ones. It's encouraging to see myself being brave enough to attempt more changes. Yet, not everything should change with the flow or (and) situation.  I guess it's time to place a halt and strike a balance.

Thoughts #1 As English is more commonly used in today's context, I know I need to overcome my obstacle and fear for it. This would be especially so as I would be a teacher in near future.  Since young, I am not a very English language person. I would always fail to articulate well in this langauge when there are alot of people and when there are other people who have better English command than me present. Gradually, I feel a sense of inferiority when I speak to people in English. In secondary school, if not for my hardwork and help given by my teacher, my English would cmi. In JC, English got harder and my GP grade was near a fail grade. Since then, I was thinking, if I have gotten a better grade for that language (as well as for maths and econs), would I be entering another course in university. I felt inferior once again when I needed to take the EPT test before I go into...

The recess week had been a good buffer time for me to relax abit and did the things which I wished but did not have the time to do =)) Although I have not been able to revise much during this break, I managed to get some time reflecting what had gone wrong all these while and make improvement to them. It feels good that everything seems to be back in place and run smoothly currently. I know and am pepared that things might get messed up again but I will try my best to manage them to the best I can. I also feel really touched by mq, cl and my family's continuous support when I was feeling down and stressed up previously. Thanks all for being there for me, cheering me up=')) The friendship strengthened, the relationship grows, and kinship becomes more cherished by me. As I proceed on with the rest of the semester, I hope that I will continue to better myself, as a student and as a person in general. Time Mana...

Reality check. This semester is really a tough period for me, with loads of individual and group work projects. I wondered whether is I was too used to the previous slack semester such that the transition to this hectic semester was unbearable for me.I seem to lost myself in the mountains of work. I lost my own tempo in doing things and follow the others' tempo instead. I am feeling increasingly uncomfortable bcoz, I am, just not feeling being myself. I dont deny that my group mates are way more hardworking than me, and they could sacrifice their time and meal for the projects. I would certainly do the same, but the extent I am willing to sacrifice was far too little when compared to them. I felt guilty about it so I pushed myself to do the best like them. But, I kept feeling that I am not comparable to them and thus, feeling more discomfort. Initially, I thought that the stipen...

The past few days were my most memorable days celebrating my 21st with my family, CL, NYJC friends, NIE friends and it will still be so this sat with 8.1 =) Thank you for planning not one, not two but a series of surprises for me. Thank you for loving me so much! :D These really mean alot to me Zhen de, xie xie ni :') Thank you for specially coming down to my house to pass me my fav soya bean drink and cake with wang wang xiao man tou (it's not childish btw=D) Thank you for accompanying and giving me continuous support for the past 9 years I really cherish our friendship =)) and, I believe our friendship will last long :')

and as the tough might get tougher, I will hold on to my goal, press on and do my ^ very best =) I have not regretted how I spent my past three month holiday and will not forget the experiences and incidents I had during those period of time. My holiday is certainly more fulfilling and worthwhile compared to the last time:) ...In the making of a meaningful and satisfying half a year ahead ;) *I can and I will*

Like a boy-girl relationship, friendship also have its stages- Comfort stage. It's really nice to have a bunch of very close friends whom you are comfortable in talking to, playing with and sharing own troubles with them. But sometimes, when too comfortable, one will forget to be as appreciative as before or might take certain things for granted. I have to admit that I do act and behave in this way at times too.. When proactive actions become reactive and that more actions can be seen when push comes to shove.. And so, it's time to step out of comfort zone, and learn to put words into action when saying about appreciating friendship.

Once again, 9 August, but this year 2012. It's Singapore's independence day, her birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY Singapore! =D It was really a shock to me when I heard about those rumours. Really prayed hard that it is not true..=S Hope to see him at the NDP parade tmr..=)

Sometimes, I do feel that I am easily affected by other people's behaviours. Whatever it is, I should just keep my cool and dont think too much. Yes, from now on.