Today will be a busy but fun day! (:

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不是真正的快乐

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When things fall out of expectations, when it feels lonely and not understood, when there is low/no motivation to do what you used to love to do.  When it seems that everything is struggling okay, actually deep down, it is not, emotionally. And sometimes it is okay and not feel guilty to think that 一个人也好.
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A fresh start.

10 years ago, the memory of MOE signing session reminded me of my internal reluctance and struggle of signing my 8 years of life away.  Today, I am back at the very place for yet another signing session. What an irony.  Nevertheless, this time is different - I have done so pretty much happily and readily. I guess this is how it feels like to feel empowered - to make my own choices and take responsibility of them. Honestly, I am not too sure whether this decision will be better or far worse than 10 years ago. I fear the uncertainty but I feel that I have made the best personal choice for myself that aligns with my personal belief and ambition.  I guess that's why I am still able to go up to that very stage again and to sign with confidence.  After the signing session, I had an interesting conversation with my brother and cousin about the difference between a job and career. Long story short, my cousin was trying to share his perspective that a job shouldn...
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Feeling free. Being free. Doing freely.

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Having lessons with Shaw is one of the best things that happened to me. Some lessons have been inspirational and they touch the very core of my heart - my fear,  my inferiority complex, my feeling of  'never good enough'. I am thankful that I have someone other than my family members whom I can be vulnerable in front of, to have someone that I can discuss my inner thoughts freely with.   Some of our conversations have prompted me to reflect more deeply about myself and my life. The lessons and mini performance opportunities given have also helped to normalise the feeling of being 'free', to play the way I want it to be, to let go of my self-consciousness and to judge myself a little lesser. Sometimes, I do feel tired trying to be 'good enough' and having fear of being judged. However, the past 2.5 months of wanderlust and 6 months of learning Counselling have made me realised that all these thoughts are uncalled for. If I didn't go ahead with the...
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