Life is not just about the race

I can feel that I am not looking forward to the things ahead anymore (or at least for now), and I feel like sleeping through the day.  And yes, I slept through 16 hours last Saturday. Unlike the last time, I didn't feel guilty for sleeping that long that day. I felt energized after sleeping, yet not knowing what to do. The feeling of losing the enthusiasm to do things, or even looking forward to exciting things ahead can be pretty scary. Because you are not sure whether your enthusiasm can carry you far, but you know that those exciting things will come to an end eventually. Apart from that, there are more things to worry about as you get older and wiser (well, in the sense). You have to assume more responsibility in major decision-making process and be the peacemaker for the various situations. 好不想长大:(   As of now, I am generally satisfied with what I have, though I have no "突破" (yet). 知足真的会常乐吗？No drive, no motivation. 死了也不会后悔太多吧？ Where will I ...

It is first time that there are missing family members during the Chinese New Year.  "Huh, 这还是团圆饭 meh?", my eldest cousin exclaimed. My heart sank. My heart sank a second time upon knowing that my 舅母 and cousin were going to China during that reunion dinner night. At least after dinner..:) I should be feeling really happy that there is lesser wayang during the dinner this time round. We could be ourselves, enjoyed the simple dishes and laughed out loud together. However, I just felt that there are something missing. Be it the atmosphere and people. My heart sank for a third time upon seeing and feeling that my ah ma is not in her good shape.  I don't know whether the situation will be better if everyone is present to be around with her or she stops thinking about negative stuff.  A lot of things will change in the family this year, and I hope things will turn out fine and good. 大家都是一家人, 为什么不能摊开心来讲? 有再大的不满，都还是一家人。