When holding on is a struggle.

Have I ever hear my inner voice about how I see my current situation so far?

Have I ever stop to hear out about my struggles instead of blindly telling myself that I can overcome it if I try harder?

I was pouring out to my husband about how unhappy I was at work yesterday. I shared with him that I don't know if I am complaining too much, or the work culture and demand are just not suitable for me and clashes with my ideal.

I have been contemplating whether I should just leave for another school, or to leave the SC fraternity totally and join back my old fraternity. Based on what I see, I don't think that the situation will vary much in different schools, since the way how school system is as such, unless I have a supportive department team who will be there to support me and my counselling work.

So why risk another 1.5 years having to adjust to new school environment? 

A part of me wants to give myself a chance to give it another try...but does it even worth a try?

I was also sharing with my husband about how going back to my old job is like 吃回头草. He was open to this idea and supportive of me if I think that going back to teaching is a better option for me. However, I need to get over my own self-judgment - seeing myself as a coward who runs away from challenges and problems ahead of me. I just want to be braver to say "You know what, let's move on if current workplace does not appreciate." 

Maybe this is the time to advocate for myself.

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