the last time i type the so called " diary" in the notepad in the computer is quite a long time ago...juz before the EOY examination..... and last thursday i got back my results...... this gave me big lots of surprises and impacts....however those was not even a pleasant one.....the subjects that disappointed me and caught me by great surprises the most are: Chinese, Geography and physics......although i had done quite well in my chemistry and there was a large improvements in my A.Maths.....i was still feeling sooooo terrible....coz the 2 subjects which i am most confident of...actually did soo badly that even i cannot accept all these....i already tell myself not to be complacent liaox.....and kept motivating myself.....and i had slept early most often during the exam periods le.....but wad i get in the end is still nothing , after wad i did to prepare myself well for my exam.....still bad results which caused a great pain and struggles in me.....after all i had did my best and had been telling myself that i can do better than mid year examination , i still got the poor results that i will not forgive myself for that.....i felt terrible inside but i still have to take it.....coz the most important thing is able to learn from my mistake......however, it will that a time too......Haiz.....my chinese.....is super bad.....i really dun noe y .....WHY?????? arrrrrrrrrrrr.....y is my favourite subjects alway have to suffer......my geography tooo.....everyone did far better than me which i really cannot accept this fact.....wad had happened to me????? i juz felll.....soo deeply and terribly.....that i was unable to react to and take it.....can anyone tell me WHY????? My favourite physics too.....mr chan had really put in lots of efforts and did his best to help me.....lots and lots of times and we even chat on msn.....at that time i told myself not to disappoint him again after i had failed my mid-year examination for physics.....but things still turned otherwise.....i still failed to fulfill my task!!!!! Tell me...wads really going on????? I felt that i was totally useless....utterly useless.....forever useless, always making empty promises!!!!!No matter how hard i tried, i still failed....arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr......i must have really made him soooooooo disappointed in me.....maybe giving up hope on me????? All i need now is the time to heal the wound and pick myself up again.....i am so confused now.....i have already sank into sadness and sorrows world.....although i tell myself to perservere. I really dun expect anyone sympathy.....really dun want.....i juz want to depend on myself, to pick myself up again.....but this huge blow had already push me deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep down into the world of darkness.....and i am trying to climb out of this sorrowful well.....still climbing up in process.....on my way out ..... maybe to got out completely of it when and till i really understand what i really want and hope for.....moving on to a road of happiness and successes_

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