知足常乐. Life is how you lived(:

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不是真正的快乐

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When things fall out of expectations, when it feels lonely and not understood, when there is low/no motivation to do what you used to love to do.  When it seems that everything is struggling okay, actually deep down, it is not, emotionally. And sometimes it is okay and not feel guilty to think that 一个人也好.
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Feeling free. Being free. Doing freely.

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Having lessons with Shaw is one of the best things that happened to me. Some lessons have been inspirational and they touch the very core of my heart - my fear,  my inferiority complex, my feeling of  'never good enough'. I am thankful that I have someone other than my family members whom I can be vulnerable in front of, to have someone that I can discuss my inner thoughts freely with.   Some of our conversations have prompted me to reflect more deeply about myself and my life. The lessons and mini performance opportunities given have also helped to normalise the feeling of being 'free', to play the way I want it to be, to let go of my self-consciousness and to judge myself a little lesser. Sometimes, I do feel tired trying to be 'good enough' and having fear of being judged. However, the past 2.5 months of wanderlust and 6 months of learning Counselling have made me realised that all these thoughts are uncalled for. If I didn't go ahead with the...
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A post left in draft.

"You are so kind," the maggie mee boy muttered.  I was surprised to hear that, and I asked him to repeat himself again.  "You are so kind." "Oh, why did you say so?" "You let me do what I want." The old me would be feeling soooo happy to hear such a compliment.  However, I realised I don't really feel that way. Instead, I was curious to find out what had made him say that. I later made sense that he has hardly encountered much kindness acts from others as he is always being scolded by others.  And my action during that session might have made him feel that he is being treated nicely and he appreciated that. Thank you for reminding me to be kind. 
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