知足常乐. Life is how you lived(:

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不是真正的快乐

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When things fall out of expectations, when it feels lonely and not understood, when there is low/no motivation to do what you used to love to do.  When it seems that everything is struggling okay, actually deep down, it is not, emotionally. And sometimes it is okay and not feel guilty to think that 一个人也好.
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A post left in draft.

"You are so kind," the maggie mee boy muttered.  I was surprised to hear that, and I asked him to repeat himself again.  "You are so kind." "Oh, why did you say so?" "You let me do what I want." The old me would be feeling soooo happy to hear such a compliment.  However, I realised I don't really feel that way. Instead, I was curious to find out what had made him say that. I later made sense that he has hardly encountered much kindness acts from others as he is always being scolded by others.  And my action during that session might have made him feel that he is being treated nicely and he appreciated that. Thank you for reminding me to be kind. 
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Motherhood.

  [Inspired by Annette to pen down postpartum thoughts] There is no sugar coating of the fact that the '4th trimester' and beyond has been the toughest one thus far. One thing about motherhood is that there will countless of adjustment to adapt to. Just when I thought that I have adjusted pretty well to the new routine, and to the little human, another waves of adjustment came along. My patience has been really put to test in motherhood, and am learning to cope with the mental stress. My parents have always said that I love to 'Pa Pa Zhao' (go everywhere), because I really do - catching up with friends, doing handmade stuff, and going on local staycay and overseas trip. The start of motherhood has  led to me 'mourning' about the loss of my freedom to go out anytime (especially during this vacation), and self-judging my declined efficiency to complete the tasks that I planned to do. My thought was moody and sometimes, grey. Then, one of the conversations in the...
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