知足常乐. Life is how you lived(:

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不是真正的快乐

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When things fall out of expectations, when it feels lonely and not understood, when there is low/no motivation to do what you used to love to do.  When it seems that everything is struggling okay, actually deep down, it is not, emotionally. And sometimes it is okay and not feel guilty to think that 一个人也好.
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Motherhood.

  [Inspired by Annette to pen down postpartum thoughts] There is no sugar coating of the fact that the '4th trimester' and beyond has been the toughest one thus far. One thing about motherhood is that there will countless of adjustment to adapt to. Just when I thought that I have adjusted pretty well to the new routine, and to the little human, another waves of adjustment came along. My patience has been really put to test in motherhood, and am learning to cope with the mental stress. My parents have always said that I love to 'Pa Pa Zhao' (go everywhere), because I really do - catching up with friends, doing handmade stuff, and going on local staycay and overseas trip. The start of motherhood has  led to me 'mourning' about the loss of my freedom to go out anytime (especially during this vacation), and self-judging my declined efficiency to complete the tasks that I planned to do. My thought was moody and sometimes, grey. Then, one of the conversations in the...
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A fresh start.

10 years ago, the memory of MOE signing session reminded me of my internal reluctance and struggle of signing my 8 years of life away.  Today, I am back at the very place for yet another signing session. What an irony.  Nevertheless, this time is different - I have done so pretty much happily and readily. I guess this is how it feels like to feel empowered - to make my own choices and take responsibility of them. Honestly, I am not too sure whether this decision will be better or far worse than 10 years ago. I fear the uncertainty but I feel that I have made the best personal choice for myself that aligns with my personal belief and ambition.  I guess that's why I am still able to go up to that very stage again and to sign with confidence.  After the signing session, I had an interesting conversation with my brother and cousin about the difference between a job and career. Long story short, my cousin was trying to share his perspective that a job shouldn...
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