The Admission
Reality check.
This semester is really a tough period for me, with loads of individual and group work projects. I wondered whether is I was too used to the previous slack semester such that the transition to this hectic semester was unbearable for me.I seem to lost myself in the mountains of work. I lost my own tempo in doing things and follow the others' tempo instead. I am feeling increasingly uncomfortable bcoz, I am, just not feeling being myself.
I dont deny that my group mates are way more hardworking than me, and they could sacrifice their time and meal for the projects. I would certainly do the same, but the extent I am willing to sacrifice was far too little when compared to them. I felt guilty about it so I pushed myself to do the best like them. But, I kept feeling that I am not comparable to them and thus, feeling more discomfort.
Initially, I thought that the stipend would give me a morale boost, but i think it was counter-productive as it was adding on to my stress of wanting to do even better with 6 modules at hand.
This affected my life. I begin to be short-tempered and have a lower tolerance level. I show attitudes to people outright and I am more pessimistic than before. With all the 'sins' I did, I felt guilty and I would really, want to revert these.
And so, now I am facing such reality which I was too busy to think about or either that, I have been trying to avoid them. From now on, I shall be myself and be my own tempo. Yes I can :'
This semester is really a tough period for me, with loads of individual and group work projects. I wondered whether is I was too used to the previous slack semester such that the transition to this hectic semester was unbearable for me.I seem to lost myself in the mountains of work. I lost my own tempo in doing things and follow the others' tempo instead. I am feeling increasingly uncomfortable bcoz, I am, just not feeling being myself.
I dont deny that my group mates are way more hardworking than me, and they could sacrifice their time and meal for the projects. I would certainly do the same, but the extent I am willing to sacrifice was far too little when compared to them. I felt guilty about it so I pushed myself to do the best like them. But, I kept feeling that I am not comparable to them and thus, feeling more discomfort.
Initially, I thought that the stipend would give me a morale boost, but i think it was counter-productive as it was adding on to my stress of wanting to do even better with 6 modules at hand.
This affected my life. I begin to be short-tempered and have a lower tolerance level. I show attitudes to people outright and I am more pessimistic than before. With all the 'sins' I did, I felt guilty and I would really, want to revert these.
And so, now I am facing such reality which I was too busy to think about or either that, I have been trying to avoid them. From now on, I shall be myself and be my own tempo. Yes I can :'
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