Life is not just about the race

More often than not, we tend to shrug things off even when we get certain sensing or vibes about them. When things really happened the way we thought they would be, we are most likely to say, "I told you so." What if our intuition can help someone in a difficult situation? What if our intuition can make a person feel better and less alone?   Or, what if our intuition is wrong?  For those who know me well, I tend to think a lot and deliberate over a decision for very long.  That night, I didn't think too long nor shrug off my intuition. I decided to put my fear of being wrong aside. I texted my friend whom I sensed she is facing some tough time.  And I am glad I did.  “In tuition doesn’t tell you what you want to hear; it tells you what you need  to hear.”  ~Sonia Choquette

I had an insightful conversation with Shaw last week about my decision to change my job role in school.  She didn't really understand why I would want to switch from teaching to school counselling job that is more emotional taxing and less recognizable by others.  Without much hesitation, I replied her that I want to focus just on students' emotional well-being without having other miscellaneous roles that a teacher needs to do.  And our conversation went on. Shaw:  你真的很喜欢帮人 hor? Me: Ya..  我觉得 这比较 有意义 也有 满足感. Shaw:  你怎么知道你喜欢做这个? Me: Oh.. 从我大学参加 CCA.. 给那些较低收入家庭的学生 free tuition... Shaw:   我是不怎么喜欢帮人 la.. 可是我会担心你用太多的 heart. Me:  是咯, 我知道 (长时间 )会不 好. 我 有 remind 自己不可以这样 (too emotional or sucked into the cases that I am handling). Shaw: 记得要照顾你的 heart, 有时候 需要用 brain (logical thinking) instead.   This conversation has made me realised that I haven been largely depending on people's perspective as an indication for my self-worth ...

10 years ago, the memory of MOE signing session reminded me of my internal reluctance and struggle of signing my 8 years of life away.  Today, I am back at the very place for yet another signing session. What an irony.  Nevertheless, this time is different - I have done so pretty much happily and readily. I guess this is how it feels like to feel empowered - to make my own choices and take responsibility of them. Honestly, I am not too sure whether this decision will be better or far worse than 10 years ago. I fear the uncertainty but I feel that I have made the best personal choice for myself that aligns with my personal belief and ambition.  I guess that's why I am still able to go up to that very stage again and to sign with confidence.  After the signing session, I had an interesting conversation with my brother and cousin about the difference between a job and career. Long story short, my cousin was trying to share his perspective that a job shouldn...

It had been an enriching weeks leading up to the Polling day. From feeding my curiosity to challenging my personal thoughts about GE, I guess the best lesson for me is to be open-minded to different perspectives yet being critical in analysing the information that I come across with. Every party had put up a really good tough fight. Personally, I am satisfied with the outcome and I hope Singaporeans do too without complaint. Because they made their (best) personal choices, be it casting to either party, or choosing not to vote or even spoiling their votes.  This morning sees a breakthrough for the opposition party and it clearly shows how much the younger generation wishes to be heard, beyond just the bread and butter issues. Honestly, I was skeptical about the reactions and views of the younger generation voters at first. But it shook me up a little when one of my friends reminded me that if the government doesn't haven faith in the younger ones, then there is something w...

Having lessons with Shaw is one of the best things that happened to me. Some lessons have been inspirational and they touch the very core of my heart - my fear,  my inferiority complex, my feeling of  'never good enough'. I am thankful that I have someone other than my family members whom I can be vulnerable in front of, to have someone that I can discuss my inner thoughts freely with.   Some of our conversations have prompted me to reflect more deeply about myself and my life. The lessons and mini performance opportunities given have also helped to normalise the feeling of being 'free', to play the way I want it to be, to let go of my self-consciousness and to judge myself a little lesser. Sometimes, I do feel tired trying to be 'good enough' and having fear of being judged. However, the past 2.5 months of wanderlust and 6 months of learning Counselling have made me realised that all these thoughts are uncalled for. If I didn't go ahead with the...

I wonder how many of us have ever complained that we don't have enough time to do this or that? And it always ended up not doing the things/tasks we wish to do, such as doing our favourite activity, spending a day with family and so on. I am guilty of that. After all, everyone has the same amount of time at hand - 24 hours, 1440 minutes and 86 400 seconds a day.  Why am I thinking that time is not enough? As I grow older, I have become more aware about this habit of mine- procrastinating and feeling that this is not the 'right time'  to do yet.  When WFH begins during CB period, I realised most of us can be pretty efficient in completing the tasks within few hours so that the rest of the time can be free up to do other things at home.  This applies to home, when we can actually use the limited time that we have on things that we set out to do, if we really want to.  I recalled one day when I was alone at home with my mum and we started sharing about po...

It is not easy to be curious. It requires purposeful practice and genuine concern. Since young, I have been used to following through things and did not have the habit to voice out personal opinions. Overtime, it makes me feel awkward to verbalise my thoughts and think that my perspective is not as good as others. Whilst going through the school stint as a School Counsellor, I begin to be practice conscious curiosity through interaction with students. I find myself feeling more comfortable asking questions that feed my curiosity, as well as taking on different perspective of the students. In the sense, the experience has made me become more empathetic towards the students and motivates me to feel their emotions. To practice curiosity in real-life situations, I try to apply it by paying more attention to political issues and understanding the perspective of each party. Although it is complex to be understood, being curious has encouraged me to ask myself questions and seek for deep...