Emotional Ride.

I should have been more mean and firm. I should have heeded advices and not go school last Friday. I regretted to put myself in the messy situation which put me off quite abit. Nevertheless, the Friday night (with my closest friends), as well as subsequent weekend days were much better although some were not according to plans. I think thinking-cum-planning flexibly and positively do make great differences and wonder after all:)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Today, CL and I decided to go to SGH to "visit MM Lee" under heavy downpour, and I was feeling disheartening to hear that his condition has worsened.  As we didn't prepare any card nor flowers, I have decided to make use of the available resources in my bag to write something for MM Lee- A sachet bag with paper-made roses, hearts and letter from us. At the moment when there was frequent lightening and loud thunder, my hands were feeling shaky and I felt like weeping while preparing gift for MM Lee. Previously, I used to think that if he really wants to make a quick exit, we shouldnt "force" him to stay by using the mechanical ventilation. Now, I really hope that he will recover healthily. I really really hope that he will to get to see all (and our) well-wishes  to him :'l  I really really really  hope that he will join us in celebrating SG50, the country which he had painstakingly built and moulded to what it is today :'l 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Recently, I feel that I lose temper and think that people are thinking negatively about me easily:( Despite feeling apologetic to people after I lost temper at them,  I know that saying sorry to them don't "cure". I hate myself for doing so each time after I lost temper, but I still did them..Maybe becoz I think it is right way to salvage wrong things done, or perhaps it will make me feel less guilty.. I know that this shouldnt be the way to go, so I will try to control temper and will not be reactive. I can do it! As for being negative about people's view of me, I sometimes will get weird vibes from colleagues that they have some "disagreement/issues" concerning me but didnt say out. Perhaps, I am wrong, but maybe I am right. Nevertheless, I hope that I will not dwell too much and just do what I am supposed to do, do what I needed to do and do what I aspire to do.

Time flies, and Term 2 starts tomorrow. Somehow, I wish time can fly faster to 2018. At the same time, I am afraid that I will regret not properly enjoying the time that passes. So..let this be a reminder for silly me to cherish the time that I have and not waste it while hoping that it can fly faster.

"Many things aren't equal, but everyone gets the same 24hr a day, 7 days a week. We make time for what we truly want"

Always have the feeling that I am my own psychologist to address my own issues xD What if one day I am incompetent to solve some issues? Nevertheless, I am happy that I am managing well so far!:)

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Motherhood.

  [Inspired by Annette to pen down postpartum thoughts] There is no sugar coating of the fact that the '4th trimester' and beyond has been the toughest one thus far. One thing about motherhood is that there will countless of adjustment to adapt to. Just when I thought that I have adjusted pretty well to the new routine, and to the little human, another waves of adjustment came along. My patience has been really put to test in motherhood, and am learning to cope with the mental stress. My parents have always said that I love to 'Pa Pa Zhao' (go everywhere), because I really do - catching up with friends, doing handmade stuff, and going on local staycay and overseas trip. The start of motherhood has  led to me 'mourning' about the loss of my freedom to go out anytime (especially during this vacation), and self-judging my declined efficiency to complete the tasks that I planned to do. My thought was moody and sometimes, grey. Then, one of the conversations in the...
Read more

A Precious Milestone.

 It has been a long while since I last posted about my rant about work. Fast forward to a year on, things have become more exciting and has been a roller coaster ride with the arrival of our baby, Hong Yi <3 I was thankful that the pregnancy journey was overall a pleasant one, surrounded with care and concern from people around me. Indeed, I felt like being treated like a 'queen' hahaha. I was 小感动 to meet  rare strangers who would step up to ask the other strangers to give up seat for me on MRT. The multiple visits to Dr Khoo's clinic were also pleasant and exciting because I got to see the baby scans (although some tests would make me feel a little jittery xD). The labour and delivery process was a whirlwind when Hong Yi decided to arrive as a pre-national baby. Despite the pain from contraction and pushing when HY's head was still stuck, I was thankful for Dr Khoo's swift action to get me out of the distress quickly. I will not forget his comment made about me,...
Read more

A post left in draft.

"You are so kind," the maggie mee boy muttered.  I was surprised to hear that, and I asked him to repeat himself again.  "You are so kind." "Oh, why did you say so?" "You let me do what I want." The old me would be feeling soooo happy to hear such a compliment.  However, I realised I don't really feel that way. Instead, I was curious to find out what had made him say that. I later made sense that he has hardly encountered much kindness acts from others as he is always being scolded by others.  And my action during that session might have made him feel that he is being treated nicely and he appreciated that. Thank you for reminding me to be kind. 
Read more