Life is not just about the race

像许多人一样， 我不知不觉的投入了这首歌。我, 流泪了。 看了那部电影， 我有被感动, 但是总觉得里头带有不切实际。我总觉得那些年的电影比较贴切, 能够"感同身受" 。但是，当我在重复那首歌，我回想我的学生经历， 想想有哪个像"徐太宇"。也许，我当时的现实生活中没有"徐太宇"。 但是，庆幸在中学的时候有十二颗小幸运。每颗小幸运现在仍然在我的生活旅途中给予我不同的支持及鼓励。:) 真想回到过去， 回到我们相同的从前。 如果回到从前, 我们..会做不同的决定吗？

He is not the guy who sweet-talk girls. He is not the guy who purposely does things to impress girls. He is not the guy who follows and do what typical guys (today) will do. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ He is the guy who does the most simplest thing to move me. He is the guy who does the most unexpected to surprise me. He is the guy who makes me more appreciative of the little actions and things in life. Thank you for the 45 months of love and care, and many more!=') And I love you, just the way you are

人之初, 心本善. I believe that every human is kind by nature, but the environment and personal experiences have changed the way how humans actually show their acts of kindness. Gradually, humans will start to influence other humans, and the acts of kindness become more invisible. It's pretty sad to see such situation looming in society as our country begins to progress and prosper. I always have the belief of kindness begets kindness, and that kindness can be passed on like ripples. Since young, my parents will say that I am "kaypoh", always do a lot of other things for people. To me, I couldn't understand why they say so sometimes, and I helped because I find meaning in helping, and should help. Back as a student, when I helped my friends and teachers, I am praised as being helpful. But now as an adult, when I helped out my colleagues, there isn't much form of sincere appreciation from some people. Some people do say "thank you", but I can sense that i...

I have been thinking a little more about life and death recently as I have been receiving news every now and then about the passing of some of my friends' grandparents. Death- once a far topic for me to even start thinking about, has become one of the most recent topic that have been running through my mind recently. I know that every human, everyone of us will face death one day. To say the truth, I am scared of death, and I do not know what I will do if death is nearing me. If flight cannot be the option at the moment, my fighting mechanism, perhaps, will take over until my final breath. Or, I will just accept the fact, and cherish the final moments with my loved ones. Few days back after I went back home after going to Brenda's ah gong's wake, I took extra glances at my mum who was sleeping soundly. At that moment, I just realized that I have taken her for granted most of the time, and I couldn't imagine how life would be without her around. This made me cherish...

Not much exercise recently, and feeling a little more "nua" than usual.  The ulcer at my throat accompanied some chest and neck pain have made me realised how negligent I am in taking care of myself.  Eating spicy and "heaty" food and falling asleep in an inappropriate position and, with a flat pillow while recovering- Hope these are just the only reasons for the above symptoms. Time to really heed my dad's advice to take care of my health..Oops:X

The General Election has been over for a week plus, and everyone is back to their normal everyday lives. Nevertheless, there are still news about the aftermath of GE results, and how the respective MPs are doing for the residents in their wards. I have been particularly paying attention on GE and its aftermath, probably because of the many things happening this year, from Golden Jubilee SG50 to passing of Mr Lee. I was glad that 8.1 was also interested about GE, and our wadsapp was flooded with so many GE updates, sgag and discussion hahaha. The result of the GE was "pleasantly" surprised to some and "unpleasantly" stunned to others. Some are complaining about too little opposition parties members in the parliament, and are cynical that no one will be the opposite voices for them. Despite all these, I strongly feel that since Singaporeans have made these choices, and the GE result is announced, we should not speculate too much negatively about what will happen ...

People are not totally wrong in their perspectives, but they are also not absolutely right at the same time. I have watched, and mainly heard news about election rallies and some "fiery" disagreement regarding different issues between the previous Government and the opposition parties. I dare not say that whoever said is totally right, but it is a matter of perspectives-taking and how far-sighted you will see these things. However, what I hold strongly is, don't disagree for the sake of disagreeing. They should be of logic and of substance. Personally, I felt that I have been myopic in my thoughts. As an officially 24-year-old Singaporean, I feel that I should think deeper and widen my perspectives about making my country a better place to live in. Look at the big picture in the long run, be decisive with minimal procrastination. During this election rally, I miss Mr Lee's presence- His strong sense of confidence and words of wisdom. I hope that someone out ther...

Am grateful for my friends and family who have wished me and celebrated birthday for me: I have been busy recently, with so many activities lining up for the week. Some thoughts come and go, and I wish I have a proper me time to think about things. It is at this moment, that I really appreciate to have my own free time to laze around at home, thinking and stoning, and oh yes, to follow and listen to rallies too! Hahaha. One year older, one year wiser? I hope and believe so:) Thank you mummy for bringing me to this world:))

It has been over a year in this school, and I have many wavering thoughts once in awhile when days get abit too extreme..either too crazy or too chill.  There is a love-hate relationship between me and this school, I really like the "chill" teaching environment, yet I find it not as "challenging" and I appear to be too insignificant as compared to other teachers. In contrast to this school, teaching life in HIHS was an exciting journey, filled with laughter, anger, disappointment and faith. Although the students were more difficult to handle, I felt that I am more "alive" although I am physically and mentally strained. Yet, the rewarding outcome was a better TSR and genuine appreciation from these students. On the other hand, teaching in the current school is like "day-by-day" passing although I have attempted to make lessons more interesting and engaging.  Due to the subject that I am teaching, I seem to appear insignificant, and oh man...

The jubilee weekend came and spinned off like a wind. There was so many things happened, and my  feelings were like taking a roller coaster ride. It has been 2 days. I hope SJ and her mum are coping well. Time will heal the pain, perhaps not today, perhaps not tomorrow. But one day, the intensity will be lesser. Stay strong and jiayou SJ and SJ's mum.

Everything seems to begin well with the new month:) It all started off with a well-rested half day at home before the staycation with my 8.1, then lunch with CL and his family, and ending the weekend with awesome LKY musical. Watching the LKY musical was like attending a live history lesson. Provocative, intriguing and making my feeling undergo some mini roller coaster ride. It's really interesting  how Mr Lee's life story has captivated  me so much, so so much. I was being pulled in to feel what Mr Lee had felt during the different moments of his life, and felt especially emotional during certain moments too:') The musical is not the best, has not portrayed more in-depth stories about Mr & Mrs Lee's life story, the actors might not have so called good "chemistry" however, I feel that Singaporeans will feel somehow connected and feel that sense of belonging at that moment. Mr Lee might not be who he had been, if not for his experiences during those da...

Everything just seems to fall almost perfectly during the past long weekend. From the staycation @ MBS with not too packed itinerary, to (convincing and) bringing my parents to River Safari & Zoo to see pandas and koala bears respectively, to having some "me" time to explore SAM (bcoz of school's stuff) and "strolling around", to finally having (rare) dinner outside with my brother ...Ah.:) I wish that more of these can happen, and I know that effort and time are needed to be put in, in exchange for such sweet memories:)) Cherish time. Treasure memories. :) 

A reminder to self that I should treasure every little moment with all my closest people together, and to enjoy those little moments. Sometimes, we are overly concerned by the things lie ahead of us, and we forgot to sit back, relax and live in the moment. Today, I thought it would be a super gloomy working day with aching muscles. I told myself (and bf reminded me again) to take everything in its stride and let the flow goes without "over-exerting" too much. The effect? The end of the day turns out to be a pretty good Monday:) 惜福 Tend to be more sensitive to issues concerning cancer recently, and tears might well up once in awhile. Hope sj's dad's condition will stabalize soon. Jiayou sj's dad and sj's family.

Feeling a little down and so, I decided to use my laptop for a little while. And woah, I happened to chance upon some msn convo which I have chosen to save because I don't want too forget the details or the entire convo with those people. With every word document that I have opened, I found myself smiling, silently giggling and also, moving nearly to tears while recalling those past fond memories. I guess the ones which have impacted greatly on me would be YM and MQ's convo. Recently, I have been seeing Ivan & HK's photo, and Jack & Sarah's photo on facebook (and now, YM's convo). All these just made me ponder how things will be different if I were to be with either of another guy, be it Jack, Ivan or YM. It is not that I am having negative thoughts about my current r/s, but the decision to get tgt with someone is really crucial, and that decision also signifies a promise to commit wholeheartedly to the relationship. And I am quite glad that CL and I have ...

"With the proliferation of Information & Communication Technology (ICT), more and more people are getting more interconnected, and will be able to keep themselves updated with the "first-hand" news happening around the world." I still vaguely remember that I used to write that for my GP essay when the topic is on ICT. Although I have my own train of thought and set of argument, I used to be always stuck in writing such argumentative essay. Lack of  current affair knowledge and critical thinking in me, I would say. During the JC days, I used to find that reading up on current affair was a chore. With the intimidation by feary Mr Tan, I forced myself to read newspaper and even wake up at 5.30a.m in the morning to listen to the BBC news especially when there was GP lesson that particular day. All I could recall was the hard time trying to remember the facts- which I forgot they are, but the only one I know is about Haiti because Mr Tan actually drew out part of t...

It's like catching lightning the chances of finding someone like you It's one in a million, the chances of feeling the way we do And with every step together, we just keep on getting better So can I have this dance (can I have this dance) Can I have this dance?:) Am still in love with this song and feeling 幸福 hearing it=D

Finally, it is my turn today to be at NMS, walking in the memorial exhibition about Mr Lee Kuan Yew. I was wondering when would be the best time for me to go one day, and it was by chance that I went today after buying Father's day present for my dad. I don't know whether I was ready to walk through this memorial exhibition, my heart was feeling kind of emotional when I was nearing the gallery walk. To say the truth, I seldom make "great" effort to read though every word I see from the board in museums, unless I am really interested in them. But I did this time, reading both English and Chinese words. (I am proud that I am still able to read almost all Chinese characters:DD..but not so for arO xP) I was really captivated by the story that I was reading along the gallery walk, and took longer glances at Mr Lee's belongings.The videos and his voice played were still as inspirational, regardless of how many times I have listened.  He was a man, who have decided ...

Finally June holiday has arrived, and the best thing is that I don't have to go back for any meeting during the one month break. Only for this time, for our March holiday was committed to school stuff. It would be a perfect time for holiday, BUT I choose to stay in Singapore in the end (despite contemplation to go on  solo trip). Oh well.. reason that I have given was that I just returned back to Singapore from US, so don't want to travel so fast again. But I think procrastination is the main culprit:X Although I will be staying in for one month, I am glad that I have followed what I have planned for myself pretty fine:3 From meeting up with friends to cooking/baking spree with my mum, to being active by running at least twice per week, I am proud that I have followed through pretty well:D More exciting things ahead, with 2 upcoming staycation and other activities which I am still planning!:) Hope it will be a GREAT one month break  for me! Haha. On a side note, I am prett...

Earlier this year, I have received an email regarding Destination Imagination Singapore, and the opportunity to go to University of Tennessee in United States if the group gets top in the categories. Recalling the thought which I had when I saw this email, my eyes lighted up in delight, thinking, " Wahh..能去就好!".  3 weeks ago, 我真的 "圆梦" :3 It was really un-un unbelievable to be given such a golden opportunity to travel so faraway with students and teachers. I was having self-doubt initially when cl and my 8.1 strongly encouraged me to go. Nevertheless, their "去啦！" really pushed me to move out of my comfort zone to explore the world out there, no regrets:D From the pre- to post- trip, there were different ups and downs along the journey. I would not want to blame anybody here, but the different segments of the experiences made me learn alot of intangible lessons. I guess the main takeaway would be to be firm in my decisions and instructions given to ...

Sunday marks the end of Mr Lee's final journey. Throughout the last week, everyday seems to be  trying day for me, as a Singapore citizen, and as a teacher. I mourned and cried buckets of tears for Mr Lee like what others did, yet, I needed to be brave and professional in front of my students, and not crying.  My usually chatty father who loves to talk about political and current affairs, fell into unusual silence and read through  articles about Mr Lee at one corner. It was a really an unusual sight to see him behaving that way and I that he didn't comment anything about Mr Lee's passing. My father was also mourning, too. With Mr Lee's passing, Singapore has become the attention across the world. We can see clearly see the extent which Mr Lee has impacted beyond Singapore. I am deeply touched by the strong determination by fellow Singaporeans while Q-ing at Padang to pay last respect to Mr Lee, as well as grateful to the the army and volunteer helpers who maintain...

At this very moment, I am q-ing outside the Instana. The queue is really long, and I am actually in the queue outside PS. It really touching to see how so many of us stood patiently for their turn, and I believe Mr Lee is also touched in another world:') Yesterday was a really trying day for me, to manage my emotions upon hearing the passing of Mr Lee when I woke up from my sleep. I guessed I was right, to have a vibe about this happening when there was a really loud thunder and lightening at SGH yesterday. It might be, a sign. The toughest part for me was to actually travel to school with a heavy heart, to hear my Principal telling the school about the passing of Mr Lee, to seeing the flag half-flown and having one minute of silence. My colleagues teared. I teared, uncontrobally. I needed to tell myself to control them so that I would be able to talk to my students about it later on. Nevertheless, I was not ready and my co-form helped to facilitate the discussion. My hear...

I should have been more mean and firm. I should have heeded advices and not go school last Friday. I regretted to put myself in the messy situation which put me off quite abit. Nevertheless, the Friday night (with my closest friends), as well as subsequent weekend days were much better although some were not according to plans. I think thinking-cum-planning flexibly and positively do make great differences and wonder after all:) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  Today, CL and I decided to go to SGH to "visit MM Lee" under heavy downpour, and I was feeling disheartening to hear that his condition has worsened.  As we didn't prepare any card nor flowers, I have decided to make use of the available resources in my bag to write something for MM Lee- A sachet bag with paper-made roses, hearts and letter from us. At the moment when there was frequent lightening and loud thunder, my hands were fee...

最近， 听见很多传闻李光耀先生病情危急，在加护病房留院观察. 心里蛮担心不安的 :'/ 对于有些人的紧张担心, 我感同生受 :/ 对于有些人 胡乱猜疑, 我感到害怕又气愤 :'/ 对于有些人乘机乱造谣不好听的话, 我更是为李光耀先生打抱不平 >: / 希望外面的情况不会影响他的病情. Although most people hope that he will have a speedy recovery, others feel that he will not recover. Regardless of anything and everything, I just hope that the social media and other people would just leave him and his family alone, to let him recuperate, or otherwise, make an "exit" in the hospital peacefully. "Even from my sick bed, if you are going to lower me down to the grave and I feel something is wrong, I will get up." "There is an end to everything and I want mine to come as quickly and painlessly as possible, not with me incapacitated,  half in coma in bed,, and with a tube going into my nostrils and down to my stomach." Recently, I have been reading up news about MM Lee and his past. While some may blame him for being the bad guy and sacrificing Singaporeans' freedom, ...

我不是 沉默的羔羊　 我有话 要讲　 给我 一点酒　 让我 有勇气　 向你吐露 我的悲伤　 That negative mentality continues to stay in my mind, as I told myself that I will sort it out once and for all someday, soon. To say the truth, it is not really THAT stressed as the work is not that much throughout the week~ After years and past months of attempts to stay positive by thinking different on the brighter side of different pathway to work towards to, 心里总是带着无奈. Imagine you are just always worrying about not able to do as good job as the rest. Imagine you are always worrying and getting nervous for lessons although you have spent so much time preparing for them. Imagine you still feeling sunday and monday blues before the end of that day comes. Imagine you always wanting to count down to the end of 4-year bond, but you resisted because you don't want to make yourself sound so miserable. Imagine you are still thinking negatively despite all the attempts to think positive and working out different pathways to what you ...

Release my tears while running 3 days back.  Imagine the thought of self-questioning. Imagine the thought of giving up. I thought that I would get over it if I have a plan to move on from where I am.  But the fact is,  I will still face with the emotional period, especially when there are many things happening regardless of everything and anything. Although everything will be okay (with some positive thoughts), it is pretty tiring and torturing to go through such emotional turbulence over and over again. I wonder how I had been through the 4 years of study in NIE, and wonder how I will be able to go through another 4 years in schools. If I am always having the hidden negativity despite my attempted positivity with my job, does it mean that I should change..or quit? Why am I mentally torturing myself? When would I get over it completely? "Everything will be okay in the end. If it is not okay, it is not the end."

Work   The first two months of the year has been quite a roller coaster ride for me as I have more responsibilities at hand and need to be readily prepared for any unforeseen circumstances. Nevertheless, I feel lucky to have some 贵 人 around, to support and cheer me up somehow when I am feeling down and stressed. I am also quite glad that I have overcome the "frustrated-with- my-mentor" stage and have a closer relationship working with her:) I used to be silently turned off by what she did and said, however, I am glad that my patience has made me realized and see her from another positive perspective, and I am really pretty proud of that:)) I used to my posting to CGSS for granted and was hoping to be transferred out of this school because I am alone. Nevertheless, through the conversation I heard from my practicum friends (they are in the same school), I feel fortunate that I do not have to face with the huge challenges with students and colleagues, or least not as much...

Some motivational QOTDs to start off the new year: "Don't put your life on hold so that you can dwell on the unfairness of the past hurts".. "Focus on your dream and do everything in your power. You have the life to change the life circumstances".."If you can't get the miracle, become one." -Nick Vujicic Let's start slow and finish strong!:))